So, got up, pecked around, had breakfast, laid an egg, you know the usual stuff.
Herself the Mammy let us out and I went off to see if I could terrorise the shite out of Socky, he's such an easy target. He picks on Simba and Picasso but Simba is my friend so I look out for him. It was sunny and Herself the Mammy and Miss Skinny Long Legs were out in the garden arsin about. The Man Who shouts was at the window shouting at them...something about ruining his fecking grass. I agree with him though, if they want the grass ruined why don't they just let me at it. So we had a grand day, I pecked at Socky twice and grabbed food from that stuck up bitch Lady Lavery a few times...she deserves it, she's so full of herself. Anyway, it was getting dark and I headed for home, I always get there first to get the best roost and well what the fuck, the house was gone. I mean it was just gone. A spot of sand and a load of hen poop where it was supposed to be. Well, what am I supposed to do about that. I sat a squaked and squaked. Lady Lavery and Sperenza came over and did what I thought they'd do which is run around in circles like idiots. Anyway, Herself the Mammy came out and started her mad calling "chick chick chick chick chick"...what does she think we are idiots, we see her with food we run, she doesn't need to call. But those other two sycophantic idiots run after her and think she's great. So she kept trying to get us to leave the back of the garden and go somewhere else. Now I may be only a hen but I have heard stories of what happens to hens when they get on a bit and the words axe and pot come to mind so she wasn't going to lure me out, no way. I ran and the other two followed her off to I don't know where. I kept expecting to hear a chop and see headless hens running by me. It started to rain and I found some wood to shelter under and dozed off. Next thing I know it was and very wet and cold and a light was shining in my eyes. I couldn't run as I can't see in the dark and Herself the Mammy picked me up. Fuck this I thought, I'm done for. She carried me to the front of the garden, I heard a squeek and nextt hing I know I'm home in bed again...maybe this was all just a dream. Talk again.