Profile: Pinkie

Pinkie is a male all pink pig, he is about 10 weeks old.
Lives on Dave's farm.
Likes food, food, trying to break out and food.
Particulary likes potato skins and fresh dandelions.

Oink Oink!!!

Well hello blogger world, nice to meet you.  I am Pixie and I live here with my brother Pinkie.  We are very fussy about where we live so don't actually live in the garden of Herself the Mammy but up the road on Dave's farm. She comes up to feed us sometimes with a bucket of vegetable scraps from the kitchen and the garden.  Also feeding us is The boy-man and sometimes his girlfriend, by the way we are starving get up here quick.  We live with our other brother and sister and we share a barn and a whole pile of muck.  Well it wasn't a whole pile of muck when we moved in but we redecorated when we got here.  I love to eat carrots and potatoes and shoes, Pinkie will eat anything.

Pinkie and Pixie together on left digging for food

Sperenza: We moved

Yep, we have moved and now we are in a much more up and coming area, much more suitable to a lady of my station.  Herself the Mammy and Miss Skinny Long Legs huffed and puffed and dragged the house to the front of the garden and it is now sitting in the orchard.  We followed on...except Marigold who always has to be different.  She was carried to bed in the middle of the night by Herself the Mammy and Kat with Two Legs.  She was pretty shaken up when she woke up this morning, ranting on about axe murderers and chicken nuggets.  Anyway along with the move the food seems to have improved.  Herself the Mammy gives us organic layers pellets but also has some goodies for us from a bucket.  She also has a bucket for the cats and another bucket, I can't read what is says I wonder who it is for.

W T F: Marigold

So, got up, pecked around, had breakfast, laid an egg, you know the usual stuff.
Herself the Mammy let us out and I went off to see if I could terrorise the shite out of Socky, he's such an easy target.   He picks on Simba and Picasso but Simba is my friend so I look out for him.  It was sunny and Herself the Mammy and Miss Skinny Long Legs were out in the garden arsin about.  The Man Who shouts was at the window shouting at them...something about ruining his fecking grass.  I agree with him though, if they want the grass ruined why don't they just let me at it. So we had a grand day, I pecked at Socky twice and grabbed food from that stuck up bitch Lady Lavery a few times...she deserves it, she's so full of herself.  Anyway, it was getting dark and I headed for home, I always get there first to get the best roost and well what the fuck, the house was gone. I mean it was just gone. A spot of sand and a load of hen poop where it was supposed to be.  Well, what am I supposed to do about that.  I sat a squaked and squaked.  Lady Lavery and Sperenza came over and did what I thought they'd do which is run around in circles like idiots.  Anyway, Herself the Mammy came out and started her mad calling "chick chick chick chick chick"...what does she think we are idiots, we see her with food we run, she doesn't need to call.  But those other two sycophantic idiots run after her and think she's great.   So she kept trying to get us to leave the back of the garden and go somewhere else.   Now I may be only a hen but I have heard stories of what happens to hens when they get on a bit and the words axe and pot come to mind so she wasn't going to lure me out, no way.  I ran and the other two followed her off to I don't know where.  I kept expecting to hear a chop and see headless hens running by me.  It started to rain and I found some wood to shelter under and dozed off.  Next thing I know it was and very wet and cold and a light was shining in my eyes.  I couldn't run as I can't see in the dark and Herself the Mammy picked me up. Fuck this I thought, I'm done for.  She carried me to the front of the garden, I heard a squeek and nextt hing I know I'm home in bed again...maybe this was all just a dream.  Talk again.

Profile: Marigold

A little brown hen.

Lays an egg most days but at lunchtime when the other two have gone for a peck.
LOVES dust baths.
Was best friends with Honeysuckle who got taken by "The big red hairy thing"
Now best friends with Simba and has adopted Simba as a brother hen.
Keeps away from other hens.
Is quiet...BUT has a mouth like a sewer.

You  have been warned.

What you missed

Well hello all, we have been gone for a long time now due to "technical difficulties", meaning I forgot the password and couldn't log in and then life just moved on.
I am "Herself the Mammy" and I live with "The man who shouts", "Miss skinny long legs" and "Him the boy-man and sometimes his girlfriend". "She who doesn't live here" is the other one who obviously doesn't live here. Also with us are the four legged furries Picasso, Simba and Socrates and a slug conversion team of three Lady Lavery, Sperenza and Marigold.  We have a few more additions this week but will introduce them later.
So, the last time we were here it was around the time the whole world changed...mainly by the introduction of two new hens...Marigold and Honeysuckle. So named because they escsaped from the box I brought them home in and I found one hiding under the Marigolds and one under the Honeysuckle. It took them a while to settle in, they had no problems but the other three did.  They got into a routine of sleeping all night, laying in the morning and then rambling through the whole garden all day long.  The other three eventually tried to ignore them.  The last summer I lost two to a fox...Honeysuckle and the Countess.  I was shocked that I heard nothing and just found a pile of feathers. The next morning (5am) I heard squaking a there as bold as brass was a fox standing in the garden so I shooed him off. This happened 3 mornings in a row and then he left.  We have a new neighboir and that now means three houses in a row have garden hens so I went and set of the alarm with them.  A few months later "Him the boy-man and sometimes his girlfriend" saw a fox in the garden....and shot him, simple.  It had already taken 3 hens from the neighbour.
So, thats all the news for now, I will let the animals fill you in over the week...they have a bit of news to share and probably do it better than me.
Thanks for listening.

Waaayyyy haaayy

We're back...

The day the whole world changed: Speranza

So there was I pecking about at the ground when one of the other single ladies started to squak about.  So I looked at Lady Lavery and she was drinking and the Countess was pecking about aswell. so who the f%*$ was squaking??????

I looked around and outside was a hen looking in at me, what was a hen doing outside our single ladies house at the bottom of the garden?

I gave the other two a kick and then looked out and seemed as perplexed as me. What was happening, why were there hens in OUR garden.???

Comment from "Herself the Mammy"

All the single ladies have now been renamed "The slug conversion production team".  They seem to love the slugs and run to get out each evening.

Anyway, come back tomorow to fing out what happens "The day the whole world changed"

Profile: Picasso

Hi all, I’m a cat, I’m 5 years old and the first cat of the house. My owner is “She who doesn’t live here”. Yep, strange I know but she does come to visit me. I sleep some of the day and hunt at night. Sometimes I play with Simba but keep well away from Socrates. I love hunting rats and mice and pigeons and rabbits. I have plenty here to keep me going. “Herself the Mammy” got hens, they are normally something I would like to chase, but as she owns them and I know what side my bread is buttered on I will leave well alone. Also, it’s good for her to have something of her own to look after rather than care for other people and their pets like she does.

Day 13: Simba

I have a new job, I’m now third in command of the hen herding team. My job is to call if one gets away and let “Miss Skinny Long Legs” know where she is. And best of all I get paid in hugs.

Day 13: Lady Lavery

Well the evening outing has become a daily event now, we get out every evening for an hour to eat slugs and the get shooed back in for the evening. I can walk around with my head held high looking at the scenery and hissing at Socrates. When I want a slug I just wait for Speranza to find one and then take it from her.

Day 11: Countess Markievicz

I don’t believe it, I tried and tried and tried not to but today I laid an egg, it must have been all those slugs I ate. It just better not become a habit, once in a while is fine but not very day.

Day 10: Countess Markievicz

Finally, something new today.


We got out, well we were let out. “Herself the Mammy” and “Miss Skinny Long Legs” opened the door and out we got to explore the garden. Well, the other two were a little unsure do they followed me around the sand pile and into the long grass by the stream. We found LOTS of slugs, slugs and more slugs. It didn’t take me long to decide to eat as many as possible and I started to gulp them down. After watching me the other two single ladies decided to join me and tried a few. Then Lady Lavery got lazy and decided to let Speranza peck for them and then she would just pull them out of her beak, so funny to watch Speranza try to run and eat at the same time. After an hour we got shooed into our coop again, but it was getting dark and we were tired so didn’t complain.

Day 8: Sperenza

Same old, same old. Myself and Lady Lavery have a routine now of laying an egg every day, then going out for a scratch. The Countess doesn’t do much really.

Profile: Simba

Simba drinking water from a seed tray

Hello everyone, I’m a little cat, a little cute cat that is. I was a boy but then they took me to the vet and when I got back I wasn’t a boy any more, just an it. My mammy is “Miss Skinny long legs” and she’s really nice to me. She hugs me, and lets me sneak into the house when “The man who shouts” isn’t around and gives me treats. I like sleeping, and hugs and chasing butterflies and birds. Last week I thought we were getting a new house in the garden. The “Boy with tattoos” was building something and it looked like a new house for me to play in, I kept jumping in a jumping out. But then these three funny 3 new things arrived in it and “Herself the Mammy” keeps going out and feeding them a talking to them. Though she built herself a new bench to sit on and I sneak over to her and curl up with her. They look like the pigeons I try to catch but they are much bigger and don’t seem to fly. The must be nice though cos they are orange ...just like me!!!!

Day 5: Lady Lavery

Well the novelty of being here has worn off now. I’ve settled down into a routine, of waking up, going for a drink of water and a peck of food and then popping into nest box to lay an egg. I’m beginning to feel like “been there, done that, what’s next” .

Comment from “Herself the Mammy”

Well the first egg was the best tasting egg I have ever had. For some reason I thought something would be wrong with it so I was afraid to boil it, I cracked it into a bowl and it looked perfect so I went ahead and fried it and had it on toast.....yummy, well worth getting hens for . We got two more eggs today and “The man who shouts” had them for breakfast, and even he approved. “Miss skinny long legs want one now, which is unusual cos she doesn’t actually like eggs. The cats can’t figure out what the hens are or what they are doing.

Profile: Socrates

Socky asleep on the table

Called Socrates but I go by the name of Socky normally. I am owned by “The man who shouts” but fed by “Herself the Mammy” (as are all animals and humans here). I’m a black cat with two white socks, I like sleeping on a cushion or a table and will eat anything I can find. I can catch mice and rats (baby ones) and like to play in the woods with our neighbour and my cat friend Clarissa. I also don’t like Picasso so beat up on him as often as I can.

Day 3: Speranza

We meet a new person today “The man who shouts”. He came out, had a good look at us and then started to shout about his lawn been scratched up. Well he needn’t shout at me, I don’t scratch at all, it’s those two aristocratic hens I live with. Anyway, I had better things to do, guess what else lives in the garden with us, CATS. Would you believe it they have 3 cats. Well one belongs to “The man who shouts”, one belongs to “Miss skinny long legs” and one to “She who doesn’t live here”. Two of them just keep pacing outside “All the single ladies house” looking like they want to come in, listen guys , doesn’t the name give it away!!!!!